Last night was the 4th annual Worcester Women Poets event at Quinsig Comm College.

The final line up order:  Susan Edwards Richmond, Melinda Lee, Susan Roney-O'Brien, Jessica Bane Robert, Catherine Reed, and Jackie Morrill.

It was a great group of poets.  Several of them I had not heard or heard of before organizing this event.  Several of them did not know each other.  I think one of my favorite things year to year with this event is watching the poets listen to each other's work and then talk with each other at the intermission and after the show - trading books and contact information, making connections - I love playing that small part in bringing them together.  Selfishly, I book this reading guided by the notion that I'd like to put together an evening full of poets and poetry that I would like to hear - happily, this approach seems to be working.  We haven't had a single repeat performer yet - I had a self-imposed goal to make it to the 5-year mark showcasing all different voices - and we have (30 voices over 4 years).

I also really like about this reading that the QCC students are encouraged (I think there is some class credit involved) to come listen and also to read a poem in the open mic.  One student recited a piece first in his native Russian and then read an English translation he had found, another student gave a really powerful reading of Whitman's Pioneers! O Pioneers! - her interpretation bringing out the modern relevance of the work, there were readings of poems by Maya Angelou and Shel Silverstein, and a few pieces of original work by the students.

Note:  I had these attendance comments at the top, but they are far less important than the fact that the 6 women rocked - they were awesome - The show was not quite as well attended as I had hoped, although quite a few people trickled in during the first 20 minutes or so.  I know that part of the problem was that I didn't have a final line up until very close to the event date and so didn't have posters ready until March 3 (only 1 week before).

A (examining V's valentine class list):  Why to the boys names come first and then the girls names?

V: I don't know.  Maybe because men were first on earth.

A: Yeah, Adam...

V: (Indiginantly) No.  Cave MEN. 

nope, I forgot, sorry sweetie, your mom has the memory of a dead fish

what does that even mean? like a dead fish?

no, not "like" a dead fish, smelly and belly up - "of" a dead fish

and that's different how?

oh come on, you've listened to Little Plastic Castles - fishes have bad memories - so - you know - worse than that

how do you know?

what - you think their memories get better after death?

maybe

well, ya, maybe, like a beatitude for fishes? Blessed are the fish poor in memory, total recall shall be theirs

that might be a blasphemy

hm, maybe for you, probably not for fish

how, exactly did we get to fish dogma anyway?

don't you remember?

no, nope, not at all

I am seriuosly fighting the urge to come up with a big list of things I need to do in the new year. Trying, trying, trying to slow down in time for Christmas to not feel like it ran me over with a mac truck full of glitter and piney air fresheners. I am also trying not to look at my list of things I planned to do in 2009 (that I didn't, mainly submission of poetry on a monthly basis, which I know stopped in May, but I'm not talking about that now, nope, not me...)

I should be writing...or revising...or maybe looking through my submissions database to see what I've sent where and when...that was my New Year's resolution for 2009...and 2008...I think I made it through 5 months instead of 4 this year...but my success rate was better last year...maybe I should resolve to do something different in 2010...but what???to punctuate everything in triplicate!!!...well,,,maybe not...I have another 20 minutes to sit here and think about whatever I want...I should probably be appreciating that instead of wanting to be somewhere else...maybe next time I will choose a chair in th adult section...these tables are tiny...and my neighbors have a strong tendency to read outloud...where else could I go with one hour...not very far...not if I wanted to get out of the car...I could walk around the city in the dark...I could drive to Grafton and back I think...too many years in this comfort zone...the only things I can think of to do are constructive and errandly...they tend to involve spending money on perishable goods...when children grow so quickly it seems everything is perishable...my heart, my heart it breaks into strands like the knees of their pants rubbed rough across the pavement...

Viv: Is Grampy the only person in our family who fought in a war?
Me: Grandpa Rich and Great Grampy too.
Viv: So, 3 people in our family and all boys for veterans.
Me: Well, my grandma was in the military too, but she didn't fight, she did food service.
Viv: Oh...Wouldn't it be cool if there were planes that just dropped peace letters and food on fighting people? If I had to be in a war that's what I would do. And all the people would stop to eat and say "hey, what were we fighting for? I'm sorry I did that." and then they would have a picnic.

We went down to Elm Park today to join st ART in making tape sculptures of ourselves and some other objects.  M taped her arm for the miscellaneous body part supply, V, M, and A did one leg and foot each and we taped my soccer ball and then taped the feet to the ball like they were fighting over possession.  Jack did a leg and a foot too - my little brother has some tall strong legs (after seeing the cast of one of his legs I had to question whether playing soccer against him in the backyard is a good idea for me...)  Joe and I did one of our arms with our hand together - like arm wresting - although it looks a lot friendlier than that represented in tape.

It was a lot of fun - we might be having a taping party soon - the organizer said we could bring spare parts along to stART in the Street in Sept.

Mahli is making her first Vina Terta tonight.  She's doing an ethnic cuisine badge for Girl Scouts. It is pretty cool to be able to share this little piece of heritage with her...

I am supposed to be writing this week on the topic of Letting Go - with the caveats strongly suggested by the teacher that we look at letting go as an intentional setting aside of inhibitions, a complete loss of inhibitions, perhaps a complete loss of sense in a way that causes the subject to act in a manner (seemingly?) counter to usual behavior. I'm not getting anywhere.  Biographically, I can think of situations wherein I chose to act in a way that someone else may have believed to be counter to my usual self, but maybe they were just wrong about me. Or maybe I think my inhibitions are good things that keep me from making a fool of myself (or getting hurt). The poem can have the inhibition-losing event lead to good or ill or no effect, my choice. In general, I'd rather not write about myself, but I'm having trouble with fictional character development too - I'm usually more capable of empathy. Someone else's sadness - ok; divorce, hatred, jealousy - alright; classism, racism, immortality - sure I can contemplate those. I'm not sure I know what drives someone to do something out of character, or at least - impulsive...

How do you get over the uncertainty of outcome? I mean, I can imagine doing impulsive things. I can imagine them going well and I can imagine them going very, very badly. And I can't tell which outcome I actually think is more likely. Or even more interesting.  My hopeful - Oprah-esque, do what you love - side thinks it makes sense to go with your gut, follow your heart, take a chance. But my cynical - I went to Jr. High and therefore know that people suck - side thinks that it is far more likely that bad things will happen if you let your guard down.

Of course this is exactly why I was looking forward to this course - to think (and write) about things I'd usually avoid.

"...it will probably get sick."   
                                        -Anyssa

This has been a great mother's day so far.  The girls and Joe all came to cheer at my soccer game this morning - the girls had a lot of fun playing around on the sidelines (really nice fields).  When we got home, Vivienne and Anyssa had me get back into bed so that they could give me all the presents they made for me at school and Girl Scouts.  Then, Mahli ushered me into the dining room where she had hung a Happy Mother's banner that included an offer for a free foot bath and toenail painting for all mothers.  On to the pedicure - we couldn't settle on a color, so I told them they could each choose 3 toes to paint how they chose (I took the spare pinky toe).  So I have peach with orange dots, green with a blue smily face, silver with red, tutti-frutti pink with tourqoise, etc (I think there are 12 colors in use altogether) - I love it.  Then we baked some cookies for Joe's mom - they are going out to visit with her while I go to poetry workshop this afternoon.

There was a For Better or Worse comic on Sunday where the mom bemoaned the fact that her most productive days, the ones where she felt like she had accomplished something, left her house looking trashed. I get that. Yesterday was one of those days. Despite having 2 kids home sick, I finally made my submission tracking database for my poems and mailed or emailed 3 separate submissions (9 poems); copied pictures from my brother's wedding onto a flash drive for my dad; and worked 4 hours.  By the end of the day, it was a bit messy here...but I managed to clean up most of it, finish the laundry, do 3 of 4 sinkfuls of dishes and still get the kids to bed by 8. 

My big girl and my little girl are sick, sick, sick today. Mahli was up most of the night with a sore throat that wouldn't let her sleep and a fever that had her shaking all over - so I was up all night too. Doctor today - no strep - he prescribed lots of hot showers - she's psyched (well as psyched as she can be with glassy eyes and a temp that only comes down a little with the drugs).  Lots of cartoons for them - and hopefully a nap for all of us this afternoon. Thankfully, Joe stayed home and has been able to shuttle Vivi around while I take care of the other 2. Here's hoping that the 3 of us who aren't sick stay that way.

Yoga this morning was so very nice. The instructor put together a series of flowing movements to honor the changing of season, the breaking up of ice, the emergence of spring. There are big windows in the practice room that overlook Lake Quinsigammond, which was very active with waves created by the wind. Yummy movements, positive thoughts - I'm glad I went to class today - these are the kind of feelings I want to be able to call on when I am stuck in the lonely dark days.

a first grade assignment - retyped with permission...

Wonderful spring begins on March 20th.  On Saint Patrick's Day little green leprechauns come hopping out.  Easter comes a few weeks after.  Arbor day is a very important holiday.  When the sun says, "wear a T-shirt." - you should probably wear a T-shirt.  The breeze rushes into the dens and caves of many animals.  They wake up instantly to smell the flowers.  In Spring, you will stop skiing because the snow melts.  Spring showers make plants grow and bud.  When it's muddy I wear my rain boots.  I think it's lovely to see flowers blossom in the gentle breeze.  The birds come gliding home from the south to enjoy the Spring.  As the weather calms down I can get to school easier.  Spring ends on June 21st.


I think the T-shirt line is my favorite